If you ever happen to go through a season of dramatic change, some people will simply refuse to take you seriously. They'll dismiss you, talk down to you, or otherwise treat you as though you've changed flippantly. Often, they will explain their perspective to you, as though the only reason you now disagree with it is that you don't understand it. When you change, people will quickly forget that you used to hold to the same views they still hold to.
And why? The answer is simple. For them to embrace that you have lived their experience and known their perspective... and yet still changed... is painful for them. It's terrifying. So they will begin to engage you more superficially as a way of defense. And that response is frustrating. You may find you've never been more prepared to have conversations of depth and vulnerability... and yet your circle wants to avoid those things at any cost.
For many of us, it's not long after the change comes that we find ourselves on the margins. No longer trusted. No longer safe.
Because when you change, it doesn't matter how committed to being humble and kind you are, you can still be viewed primarily as a threat. People will do anything they can to maintain the illusion of what it means to belong, and to be included at the center. Even if it means minimizing the suffering of others to keep more simplistic constructs afloat, they will do it. This leaves little room for poverty of spirit, mourning, meekness, desiring justice, etc... The very things many of us grew up being told we were to value specifically.
The real world, it turns out, is complex and nuanced.
And when you spend your life trying to dismiss complexity and ignore nuance, you spend your life trying to avoid the real world.
"I bet you think you really dodged a bullet /
When you got rid of me /
Don't feel bad, I know I put you through it /
Brother turned enemy /
Lover turned enemy."
OUR TENTH EPISODE DANCES WITH THE THEMES AND IDEAS OF 'DODGED A BULLET' – THE TENTH TRACK ON DEREK WEBB'S NEW ALBUM, 'FINGERS CROSSED.'
THE SONG ITSELF ALSO PROVIDES THE ENTIRE MUSICAL AND SONIC BACKDROP TO ANY PHONE CALLS AND CORRESPONDENCE WE ARE FEATURING THIS WEEK.
ABOUT SEASON ONE:
Derek Webb has described his new album, Fingers Crossed, as 'a tale of two divorces.' Our first season of The Airing of Grief Podcast dives into the album track-by-track, with each song providing the themes and musical backdrop for an accompanying episode. Whether you're new to Derek's music or a longtime fan, the topics discussed and the stories of our guests should prove themselves to be a compelling journey for any listener. Wherever you might find yourself on issues of faith or spirituality, there is room at the table for all of these voices to be heard and celebrated. Raw, real, and authentic, The Airing of Grief strives to be a safe place to strip away the pretense and really listen to the heart.
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